My decision was made, there and then at the very moment I heard his voice back at my dorm. The very thing I made a personal choice to keep (my virtue/virginity) until the right guy came along, I was ready to throw away due to momsie's rantings! All these years I kept myself was not because of her warnings or threats of brimestone and hell. More to prove to myself and mates that peer pressure was just an excuse to give it up. Not knowing anger and self-pity could do as much....
Well Toyin was shocked but I could see the spark in his eyes as soon as I said, "lets do this and get it over with." He did not even try to be a gentle man about it and try to dis-suade me or even just talk....oh well! Free p___y he probably thought, "at last!"
The memories of that afternoon have been put in a dark place in my mind all these years but for the purpose of this blog, I will dredge up the lake and let it surface..... Oh my!
I remember sitting on a dingy mattress that was placed on the floor. His room was dark and very messy. Clothes and books all over the place. I was disgusted at the state of his abode but I did not give it much thought as my mind was going on its own train tracks then. I tried to think about my friends' stories of their first times and get myself in the "sex" zone. Nothing came to mind.....
I remember I had on a white flowery shirt and gray tennis skirt. I laid back on the mattress waiting for him... Closed my eyes.... Dude did not even go for a kiss, fondle or anything! No fore-play! He went straight for my underwear! I cringed and tightly closed his hands between my thighs. Then before he even said a word, I opened my eyes, looked at him looking at me questionably. And I just thought, "oh shit, to hell with!" And just zoned out.
I remember feeling him in me and thinking, "so this is it?" Before I got through that thought, he was already pulling out and convulsing as he came! Dang 2 minute brotha! Lol.... I looked around for where he threw my panties, put them on and saw him reaching for a pack of ciggies. Then I told him I was leaving. He asked me to stay the night but I was done! I had done the very thing my mom was ranting about, so what else? "Nope" I said and left!
Got back to my dorm and ran straight to the bathroom, scrubbed my body crazy and cried myself silly! I felt worse than I did with mom's words. My house mates all kept watchful eyes on me from a distance. Not knowing what my next move was. Soon as someone saw Segun on the street, they made a beeline for him and I went to my room. I could hear him jesting with my friends then he came to my room. I was curled up in a fetal position on my bed.
He makes his usual jokeful remarks and we chatted for a while never mentioning for a second what had happened earlier. I made some food, him and my roomies ate, I could not stomach anything more than pop that night. I needed to put that whole day away from my mind. Looking back, I can dare say I did a great job!
We had our exams starting the next week and Abbey came over to study with us. Somehow, Yetunde was spending the night at Bobagunwa with Jonomo.....lol. Kemi was staying with her Law mates on Itamerin so I was left with Abbey and his cousins Yomi and Jonino. Segun in his usual form was hanging around the hall gisting with us but he left to go home. I recall we had no electricity that night so we studied with candle light and some how ended back chatting. Along the line, in Jonino's normal fashion of talking and slipping, he mentioned Toyin was dating another chic I knew from the neighborhood, Yemisi! Hmmm.... I had my suspiscions but did not think too deep about things. Biodun was leary about telling me this info as he knew as well but did not know how serious me and Toyin were. I did not mention what had transpired 3 days prior. I saw his cheating ways as my escape route with him. I had been avoiding him like a plague since the deed. We called it a night and went to sleep.
The next day, I sent a message through them guys to tell Toyin to come see me. They were reluctant at first but I reassured them I was not about to cause no drama. Few hours after they left, he comes stauntering in my room. I had cooked some food. Made him a plate. When he got done eating, I told him we needed to talk. Told him straight up I was on to his runs and that him and I were through. He got on his knees begging me, trying to force tears out of his eyes and looking all pitiful and what not. I sure was not moved with "one" useless deceitfully forced tear! Walked him out my room and asked him not to look back. Funny enough, I had a weird freeing feeling.
April 19th 2000, got my cherry popped, April 23rd, broke up with the guy that popped it! Jeez girl! Just mean....but I was glad!
The following Sunday, I go to church as I always did. RCF(Redeemed Christian Fellowship) was the college version of my home church. During announcements, my name was mentioned that my mom was outside looking for me! Gosh! Utter embarrassment! I went to meet her, and she was smiling sheepishly! Talking about, "oh am glad you go to church in school!"
Wondering why she was here, I gave her a blank look, she got the message and said my youth Pastor at home wanted to talk with me. Why me Lord? Got in the car to find out she came with my Aunt, her younger sister. That one hour drive home, I was silent and did not participate in their chats, as hard as Aunty Moji tried to get me talking. I just gave monotonous answers to direct questions.
I did have a talk with my Pastor, but all I told him was just surface stories about dating a guy but we were broken up now. He did his duty as a counsellor. Momsie picked me up later that evening, took me home and I was back in school the next day.
I put all that experience behind me. Days turned into weeks into months. Just living the campus life, books, friends and chatting days and nights away. One such night, while chatting with housemates and neighbors, Segun calls me outside saying he wanted to show me something so I went to him. He had me look to the sky. It was a clear crisp night. We could see the stars for miles. He pointed out 3 distinct stars in the sky and I told him, "oh yeah, triton's belt" as I had called the Orion's belt then. Lol... And we talked about the stars, tried to make out other constellations, the big and small dipper and the likes. We even tried to get the other guys to join our star search quest. Lol...they just blew us off as 2 crazy nuts.
By this time we chatted practically every night for hours unending. What we talked about, I really had no idea. It ranged from books, our families, previous schools, politics, science, law, philosophy, religion, sex. We always had something to talk about! Along the line I found out his older sister was a friend I knew from church in Iwaya. We had way too many mutual friends. He was the big brother I had always hoped to have.
He had asked about why I broke up with Toyin and I gave him the barest details at first but as our friendship grew I told him what really went down. I could tell he was pained at what I had to go through and being the good friend always said I'll find someone better. He was dating some girl that lived in his dorm and they were always breaking up and getting back together. I always spoke to him about how to work things out with a woman. We basically became each others confidante.
I recall one night we were talking, he was as usual broken up with her again. He parked his car in front of my dorm. Jonomo and Yetunde were busy feeling lovey-dovey in the front passenger seat and we were teasing them. Segun is a tall huge guy and I like to call him a huge teddy bear. Being a guy I was really free and comfortable with, I always hugged, leaned and clung to him. Not in any sexy or romantic way or anthing like that. So I was leaning against him as we teased them guys on. He had his right hand across my shoulder as we were cracking up bad holding on to each other so as not to fall. We settled from laughing and continued talking. I felt his fingers playing with my hair, I probably had braids, I can't remember. I didn't mind and went on talking. Somehow along the line, he started playing with my earlobe. Hmmm..... That sensation sent sparks flying in my body to places I never even knew existed. After a couple minutes of enduring that, I managed to wriggle out of our leaning position. The guys went their way as we did and I put those sensations away with a cold bath and forgot that night.
July comes and we all had to leave school due to either a strike or cult issues, can't remember which it was. I missed my friends so badly as I was in Akute, my fathers house. Out of the way from everybody. So I decided to go to Iwaya. One person I missed most was Segun, but we spoke practically everyday on the phone. The network in Akute sucked big time so to Iwaya I headed.
Yetunde's brother, Toyin was a very good friend and I sometimes felt he had a crush on me! Wrong! He just took me like a sister. While hanging out with me one day, he says, "you know you have a secret admirer right?" In my,mind I was like, "crap!" I dont need none of those! I was on a "man-cation" I was on a vendetta with guys. Not ready for any form of relationships at all. But being the girl I was, curious about who this guy was, he gave me the run around before telling me.........Segun!!!
Ok another pause for tonight.... Hope I have been able to wet ur appetite for more gist!
Until then remember......
"Love makes the world go round!"
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