Church......

So coming to church today I was not too excited....same ol' religious ramblings etc. Good thing I came cos Praise Generation brought down praise! PG a lovely choir group I been a part of for 4 years. Crazy chemistry among us, we share our joys, pain, hurt, sorrows even food.....lol. I started singing at the age of 3, I still have the old home video my folks recorded then in Japan. Matter of fact, its on a "beta-max" videotape.......lol.

Here we are today talking about how to be lifted in God? All things are possible. To be inspired, elevated, stirred up, to be encouraged, revived, renewal, a place of excitement. How to be uplifted.......

By divine timing....Ps 102:13-15
By divine selection.... 1Sam 16:6-13
By prayer.... 1Chron 9:12 (if my joy deflated my strength is deflated)
By prophecy.... Matt 2:1-6

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Pain........

Why do I always revert to this emotion? My mantra has always been "Love makes the world go round". Doesn't seem so in my case. Loving someone from the depth of your heart and not having that someone to hold is so painful.

Now I see where artistes song lyrics really connect with the listeners hearts. Never thought I will feel this much pain. Emotional and huge physical pain in my chest. Feels like I can't breathe. Too many people and things connect us together. Had to close my fb page cause I could not face seeing people that remind me of you. If I have to move on with life, I need to cut everyone out. Even my folks as they are close to you too.

I never imagined I would be such a wuss when it came to you. Like its said, "you never know what you have until its gone". Then you say you grew to love her? Never meant happen that way. She was there when you were in pain, why didn't you turn to me instead? Thought we were meant to be best friends? You want the best for my life and you took the best thing in my life away, so where does that leave me?

In tears as the songs play in my head and on the radio.... I know people say "I would never love again" and that changes some time later. In my case, I doubt a change to those words. You will always be my one true love....... Any other if ever will just be a companion....

I stop now......to cry some more

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Closure.......

My heart bleeds.... I know asked for closure, I guess I was really holding out for a sliver of hope. Reading those words "I CAN'T BE" with u sent a cool wave of air over me. Did I think it was going to be easy. Not at all, the problem is I didnt think it would be this hard.

Known you for 10 yrs and it all ends now. We've been through hell and back. We both had and still have issues but it all ends today..... Jan 16th is going to be my new Nov 4th...

This hurts like crazy!

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